I had a thought and decided to write it down. Welcome to the rantings of someone who decided to write down his thoughts on mysticism, politics, anthropology, science, and art.

Friday, January 6, 2012

All Hail the LORD Internet!

Just yesterday, January 5th, the country of Sweden legally accepted Kopimism as a religion. Essentially, internet piracy has become a legitimate religion in one country. Some find this humorous, some find it asinine and childish (like a talking snake isn't), and some just don't know what to make of it; the rest don't know about it yet.

Considering the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was a parody of religion, its creator saying that if creationism has to be taught in public schools, then the religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster needs to be considered as well. The Missionary Church of Kopimism isn't a joke, but more of a protest against the influence SOPA will have, as well as an opposition to copyrights (hence Kopimi is copy me). And though its not a joke, but a protest, it crossed my mind as to whether or not the internet can be considered a "higher power." Let's work through it:

The Internet Knows EVERYTHING:
Essentially the internet is omniscient. Pictures? Go to Facebook or Piscasa. Video? go to YouTube. Porn? You can find that even if you're not looking for it. Information? Go to Wikipedia. Not sure where to look? Go to Google. Need to download software? Download.com (if legal) or just torrent it. In fact, no matter what you're looking for, you can find it on the internet. If I need an AutoCAD drawing of a tree to put in a drawing file, I can go to a site that has thousands of them for free. If I want to do a Droste effect in Photoshop, there is a site somewhere (more than likely Adobe) that will have an application to download and install in Photoshop and directions on how to use it.

The Internet is EVERY WHERE:
The internet is omnipresent. It's not difficult to access it from anywhere. It can be accessed on a computer, a phone, a tablet, a car dashboard, and soon your microwave clock will come with internet. Thanks to WiFi the internet can be accessed at home, the office, the front lawn, your neighbor's front lawn, Starbucks, Burger King, et cetera; and with smart phones it can be accessed on the road, in the street, or wherever via satellite. Given all the information streaming around in the air via radiation, the internet is literally everywhere (it's even in outer space!).

The Internet is ALL POWERFUL:
It is also omnipotent. It can do practically anything you want. Soon we will be able to have sex through the internet if virtual technology keeps going the direction its going and the porn industry makes good use of it. And if the internet can't do it for you, it will certainly help you find a way for you to do it yourself. And to top it all off, the internet can keep track of you. It watches every move you make, records and tracks what you do, and produces algorithms to better assist you in your future transactions with the internet. Not to mention it can do all this a lightning-fast speeds. In fact, it even can tell you how fast it can do this stuff for you!

The internet knows everything, is everywhere, and can do anything, as well as help you and watches your every movee. Doesn't really sound all that different from the concept of God, now does it?

I mean, you sit down at your laptop/desktop or smart phone or tablet, then you pray to the Almighty LORD Internet and the LORD Internet helps you connect with old friends (even find them), helps with cooking recipes, DIY tutorials, any information you want... Want a new song? How about a new program? Or a digital book? Ask LORD Internet and (S)He will give it to you for free. "Asketh and thou shall receive."

Why can't Kopimism be a religion? Surely the LORD Internet lives up to the standard of deity. Thing is, so many of us are so dependent on the LORD Internet, we become so hopelessly lost when the internet is down,  and it is like the sunrise when the LORD Internet returns, that it seems we all worship the LORD Internet and we didn't even know it. When we sit mindlessly at our altars at home or in the office or at the local Starbucks, we are worshiping the LORD Internet, and (S)He listens to our every prayers/requests (usually in the form of URLs and searches). Sometimes the LORD Internet answers our prayers/requests, and every once and a while (S)He does not, but that's usually because we did not ask correctly.

Everything the other religions say about their god(s) the LORD Internet fits the description as well.

All hail the mighty LORD Internet!

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