Meta-Conspiracy Theory

So, I was recently pondering Area 51 and UFOs and the likes (because that's what I do when I'm ready to throw my computer out the window when AutoCAD is giving me a hard time), and in particular, the conspiracy theories that surround them. I just felt compelled to write about what I was thinking. I have written on conspiracy theories before, so I would like to take a different approach.

One conspiracy theory I would like to discuss is the Roswell crash in 1947. It is important to note that two years prior to the Roswell incident the Cold War started. And I just wanted to ask what is more believable: extraterrestrial intelligent lifeforms flew a spacecraft to planet Earth and crash landed in the deserts of New Mexico; or the US government was working on a top secret project (which they do frequently) involving new stealth technology with modern avionics, which went wrong, and the project crash in the desert.

When we seriously think about it, the likelihood of intelligent beings from a nearby solar system (which would be several thousand light years away) is quite slim. We made manned missions to the moon, and that's about the best we've done. We can get to Mars, but we can't leave Mars. When you look at how much infrastructure is necessary to get objects out of our planet's orbit, about the same amount would be necessary to get a person off of Mars, since Mars is only slightly smaller than us. And these intelligent beings, with technology so superior that a single vessel, about the size of garbage truck can make it from a planet light years away with no problems, and just so happens to crash once it gets to earth? I know I'm making the whole thing sound ridiculous, because it is.

In all likelihood the US military was developing new aircraft prototypes, and one of those crafts probably had an accident and crashed. Many things from the crash that were strange, technology-wise, are now common technology, such as the strange material that supposedly self-heals when crumpled.

But what better way to cover-up a classified, top secret project during the Cold War than to give an outright lie, such as "It was a weather balloon," and then send a few people out to say they saw "alien bodies" and a "spacecraft" to get the public's attention away from secret government projects. We don't like the government doing secret stuff, so make up something to get the people riled up about so they don't think government is doing what the government is actually doing. One is very likely, and the other we have to tie ourselves in conspiracy-theory pretzels to make it sound plausible, but we just come off looking like a bunch of new age nutcases. Hell, it's so in genius that it could work. Consequently, I think it did work.

What's scarier: creatures from outer space crashing on our pale blue dot? Or the government creating a conspiracy to cover-up a top secret project? Personally, I think the latter is more scary, especially if it's true, because a lot of us bought into it. I know, it's a conspiracy theory for a conspiracy theory. But the logic of the whole thing makes so much sense that the meta-conspiracy is more plausible than the conspiracy itself.

Open your eyes, people! The Secret Government is plotting the end of the world! And aliens in spacecrafts that look strangely like a hubcap are helping them! And the Mayans were right! Because aliens made their calendar! Right after they built the Pyramids! And the Freemasons will take over the world right after it ends! Because aliens started the Freemasons!

You don't have to "believe" like Fox Mulder. You can just stop being a moron.